Headline Secrets
The author of this headline asked..."Is it too strong?"...
"How To Build Your Own Profitable Kick Ass Opt-In Email Lists - Just Like The Ones The 'Gurus' Are Always Bragging About - Crammed Full Of Loyal Subscribers Waving Fists Full Of Money At You In Only 30 Days Or Less"
Here is my reply...
The headline is terrible for many reasons...
1. "How to build your own highly profitable Kick ass optin email lists"
Just about every word and phrase here has been done to death by every internet marketing hack site.
Also it's just not specific enough to be believable or suggest you'll give any REAL information on building an opt in list.
2. "Just like the ones the gurus are always bragging about"
Which gurus?
This line suggests your prospect knows something...but God knows what.
Another hack line that means nothing.
3. "Crammed full of loyal subscribers waving fists of money at you"
Again...no suggestion that this is a real result someone's achieved in the real world.
Non specific and meaning nothing.
How much money, how many subscribers?
What does loyal mean?
Where's your proof or suggestion of proof?
4. "In only 30 days or less"
Nice that you tagged this on at the end.
This is the closest you get to something specific but it just doesn't flow with the headline and since there was no specific promise in the headline it means nothing.
Also how you're supposed to have "loyal" subscribers inside 30 days I'm not really sure.
If you tell me...
"How A Denver Housewife Captured 1,341 New Email Subscribers in 29 Days...And How You Can Use The Same Proven Step-By-Step System..."
Then I might read the next line.
Also read...
4 Eyeball Sucking Headline Secrets
Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh
More FREE High Value Online Copywriting Secrets Than Any Other Site On Earth. Andrew Cavanagh's Online Copywriting Blog
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"How To Build Your Own Profitable Kick Ass Opt-In Email Lists - Just Like The Ones The 'Gurus' Are Always Bragging About - Crammed Full Of Loyal Subscribers Waving Fists Full Of Money At You In Only 30 Days Or Less"
Here is my reply...
The headline is terrible for many reasons...
1. "How to build your own highly profitable Kick ass optin email lists"
Just about every word and phrase here has been done to death by every internet marketing hack site.
Also it's just not specific enough to be believable or suggest you'll give any REAL information on building an opt in list.
2. "Just like the ones the gurus are always bragging about"
Which gurus?
This line suggests your prospect knows something...but God knows what.
Another hack line that means nothing.
3. "Crammed full of loyal subscribers waving fists of money at you"
Again...no suggestion that this is a real result someone's achieved in the real world.
Non specific and meaning nothing.
How much money, how many subscribers?
What does loyal mean?
Where's your proof or suggestion of proof?
4. "In only 30 days or less"
Nice that you tagged this on at the end.
This is the closest you get to something specific but it just doesn't flow with the headline and since there was no specific promise in the headline it means nothing.
Also how you're supposed to have "loyal" subscribers inside 30 days I'm not really sure.
If you tell me...
"How A Denver Housewife Captured 1,341 New Email Subscribers in 29 Days...And How You Can Use The Same Proven Step-By-Step System..."
Then I might read the next line.
Also read...
4 Eyeball Sucking Headline Secrets
Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh
More FREE High Value Online Copywriting Secrets Than Any Other Site On Earth. Andrew Cavanagh's Online Copywriting Blog
Products From Andrew Cavanagh:
Offers Unleashed: How Many Of These 17
Profit Multiplying Offers Is Your Website Missing?
Make $1,500 Today: This 48 Page Report Reveals
The Simple Step By Step System For Selling Your Online
Marketing Skills To Businesses Right In Your City
$500 In 24 Hours Without A Website: From Offline Store Front
To Online Gold. Charge Local Businesses To Explode Their Sales From Walk Past Traffic And Turn That Traffic Into Long Term Online Income (Perfect For Copywriters)
Online Gold For The Offline Business: The Definitive
eBook On How To Use Online Marketing To Power Up
The Profits In Any Brick And Mortar Business
Make My Website Sell: FREE 11 Minute Video
Insider Secrets Of Web Design That Sells
$7 Secrets: How I Made Over $3,000 In Just 7 Days
By Selling A 30 Page Report For $7
Make Money Copywriting: 34 Insider Secrets To Making Money
As A Copywriter And How To Land Your First Copywriting Client